Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
