It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
