having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize