I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize