I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize