$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
