On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize