I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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