I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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