i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
