He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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