Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
