I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
