Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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