i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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