Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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