Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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