Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Four minutes until I can fart!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
