smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize