I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize