needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
