is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
