Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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