So drunk its hurt
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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