I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I lost the right to judge tonight
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
