The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
