Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
FUCK WHALES
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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