I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
