hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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