Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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