im drinking this country out of the recession.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
