You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
