u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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