It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize