He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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