last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
