No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
