Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize