No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
