You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
