Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
