I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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