fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
