you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
