i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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