i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
