I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
