names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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