just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I pour the whiskey from now on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
