I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
