no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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