she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
