Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
