New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
