i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
