I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
